The Way I See It # 555-If Only My Co-Workers Were This Happy To See Me!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all greeted with the same enthusiasm as the dogs in this video? Imagine walking into your workplace and everyone jumping up to say hello? How special and wonderful we would feel knowing we are valued and appreciated.

I write this as it has now been almost two weeks since I left my workplace and have not heard from any of the staff I worked with.  I wonder how much value or appreciation exists in a workplace that no one seems to care when one leaves.  I am trying not to take it too personally.

I am going to take a lesson from these dogs and great everyone with big smiles today (won’t be providing any face-licking, that’s more in the dog department).   Happy Sunday!

The Way I See It #30-Black Spots of Shame

As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I wanted to share this video with others to highlight what life is like growing up with a mental illness.  I have suffered with anxiety and depression since I was a teen.  There are days that it can be hard to think about how it has affected my life.  I remember my father driving me to university and the night before he was supposed to leave I had a terrible anxiety attack.  I decided I didn’t want to stay and I packed everything I just unpacked two days earlier. My father was so disappointed with me he didn’t speak the whole ride home.  I couldn’t look him in the eye for a good week. I think of it as my black spot of shame.  Of course, there have been my black spots in my past I wish I could erase.

I don’t feel this shameful anymore, but I still suffer from anxiety that keep me from missed opportunities.  I am continuing to push the boundaries of shame and hurt.  I know I have more to give to this life and that there is more that is waiting for me.  Anxiety keeps getting in the way but I keep pushing it aside. There is too much life to live.

For those of you who suffer, I am here with you.  Let’s erase this black spots of shame and learn to love ourselves.

The Way I See It #41-Life is a Cupcake

As some of you may know, I quit my job and have decided not to look back.  So far, I haven’t. Maybe a little, but mostly not.

I did find a new job in a very short period of time which was shocking. I think I was just at the right place and the right time. The funny thing is that it still involves coffee. I wonder how I got myself into another coffee job, but it’s better than that. It’s about icing, and ganache, and cake, and cupcakes.  What could be sweeter? (Literally)

I have decided that this life of trying to climb the corporate ladder is not for me. I would rather work for a small company and help pursue their dreams then a machine that has taken all of the good out of what it was meant to be from the beginning.  If we are going to say we are here for “people”, then please show me. Please don’t depreciate my value by making me get excited over a t-shirt, a pizza party, or a new pin. For the love of god, I don’t want another t-shirt, nor do I want crappy pizza. Plus, I am going to lose the pin. How about something a little more original. How about cupcakes? YES!!

This weekend,  I want to raise a glass to taking care of ourselves, especially us highly-sensitive people. Go get a cupcake and enjoy it.  Life’s too short to let the grinds of the corporate machine get in the way of having a great day job, even if it’s not what you want to do forever. My first real day will be Saturday. I hope I don’t drop any cakes! Wish me luck!

GiantCupcakeT

Picture from the Website “All Things Cupcake”

The Way I See It #266-Coming Full Circle and Becoming an Architect

george-costanza

(from NBC)

Jason Alexander recently tweeted the following:

In a flagrant display of brutal irony, my son is currently dating an architect.

— jason alexander (@IJasonAlexander) October 3, 2014

Brutal indeed. George Costanza would always refer to himself as “an architect”, the most distinguished position in society in his opinion. Life has now come full circle, and I can relate.

Not long ago, I was in the same spot I am today. I left my job; furious with my manager being a “bully”, the lack of any recognition for doing a good job, and the only focus was on how I “failed” the business in some respect. My sensitivity for emotional bullying and lack of understanding, pushed me over the edge again. Life has come full circle.

I have made a pact with myself that I will not put myself through any more work that I consider “drudgery”, a term I have referred to as a work environment where I cannot focus on one person at a time and ensure I can provide them with a better experience.  Trying to connect with one person when you have a supervisor and other customers yelling at you while trying to be the best multi-tasker in the world, is beyond ludicrous.

As I venture into the world of the unemployed, I am going to consider myself, as George did, “an architect”.  Except I am going to be the architect of my career.  I am not going to let someone else direct me into a place of gloom and misery for the sake of a paycheque. Nor is it going to be coffee-related!

“I’m an architect!”

The Way I See It # 236- Dogs are the Real SuperHeroes

Today I want to talk about Superheroes of the 4 legged kind.

Not the kind who have received medals for bravery or the kind that put himself in front of motor vehicles to save another dog. I am talking about the kind that exist in our lives and never make it to this status because I believe these are the real heroes.

My dog saved my life.  He didn’t jump off a building to save me or keep me from drowning. He just existed.

I am sure you can tell how much I miss my dog. I give thanks for this blessed animal that was in my life, albeit for a short period of time.  He was there to help me through a really rough patch.

I was living with an abusive partner and at the same time my father was dying from cancer.  It was all of the things that I feared that would happen to me -someone who would abuse me emotionally, physically, financially. My father would stand by and watch me succumb to this person while he was succumbing to his own disease. Together, we were fighting losing battles. Battles we thought together we could get through by in the end we lost.

My father lost his life. I lost my self-esteem, my job, and in the end, my dog.

I am sure my dog could sense my daily sadness. He would sit and look at me with those big brown eyes and all I could feel was an overwhelming sense of compassion and love. I remember those eyes looking at me like it was yesterday and I yearn to see them over and over again. I miss his smell, his furry face, and his way of hugging against my neck when I try to hold him close to me.

Years later,when he saw that I found someone who could pick up where he left off, and knew that I would be ok, I think he accepted his purpose in this life was fulfilled. Our last day together was not the way I expected it to go, but the sense of peace I felt while he drifted away from me was clearly the most compassionate thing I knew that I could do for him.  It was difficult, but I know I had to respect that his time on this earth was done and that his illness was taking away from him being able to be the dog that he was.

If you are reading this, you probably  wonder how this relates to my journey to find my purpose-filled work. I know that dogs have always and will always be a part of my life.  Kindness, compassion, unconditional love-these are all things that dogs can teach us. If these are things you value, like I do, you will understand why I feel that dogs can give us cues on how to live life with purpose, admiration, wonder, and taking opportunities to cease the moment. They are the teachers and we are the students.

I miss you Scruffy. I hope you are in doggy heaven with Benji, Lincoln, Fido, Bear and Prince eating Begging Strips and watching Cesar Milan re-runs. xo

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